I have discovered a revelation about myself. I can't find a happy medium when it comes to being me. I know that sounds strange so let me explain:

1. When I am happy and just being normal me people mistake me as ditzy, ignorant, immature and obnoxious. Since I am easy going and generally happy and I tend to make people feel comfortable- I tend to be made the butt of jokes because, hey, Sarah doesn't get offended easy, she can take it.

2. When I am quieter, reserved and try to "blend in" people say I'm not being me, I must be mad at something, I'm backslidden, somthings wrong or I'm depressed. I'm pushed to "say something funny" or just chat it up with the others. People will bug me until I "open up" when really I'm just trying to not be "funny Sarah" because people seem to think "funny Sarah" is unwise, a ditz, stupid, you name it.

I have found there are very few people that understand me. Weird that I'm 28 and I don't even understand me. Since I don't try to impress anyone or try to be something I'm not, I'm usually unaware of how I am in public. If 15 people are together and 1/2 are chatty and go on and on and ON, the minute I say something not realizing someone else is trying to, then I'm the one who is disruptive. I may not get offended easy, but I do still have feelings.

Ew, I hate being transparent. My next blog will be so much more vague.