Longest blog so far....

Marty often says if I were a stay at home mom, I wouldn't be able to handle Sammy. I get really irritated because I feel like the reason I do stress out with Sammy is because I'm not home with him so I don't have the patience I should have. Well, last night was NOT my night to prove Marty wrong. Sammy is in this phase where he wants to get up 15 times in an hour when we're trying to get him to go to bed. I started late, at 8:30 last night. He had fallen asleep around 6 in the car after a hard day of play with Gerry, Christian and Tiara. I let him sleep for about 30 minutes, knowing it would push bedtime back.
First- let me talk about him playing with "the boys". It was hilarious! They were chasing each other around up and down the stairs, in Christian's room, in Missy's room, in the kitchen, back up the stairs. Then they found JOY (not Ford, but the emotion) in jumping up and down on Missy and Jay's big bed, while watching Word World, of course. I go upstairs to get Sammy so we can go, and he doesn't want to leave. Jason and Bob tell me that him, Gerry and Christian have been hugging and giggling for like 15 minutes and having a blast. When Sammy saw me coming he giggled, looked at Christian, and then the two of them hurried and climbed under the covers and then popped their heads out and pretended to be napping, sharing a pillow....of course with big cheesy grins on their faces! It was probably one of those had to be there things, but I promise, just visualize it. It was so cute! I of course, did not have my camera handy, darn it!
SOOOOO, back to last night. I'm laying on the couch, too exhausted to go to bed, stressed because my child keeps getting up. This is how it when for an hour: Sammy gets in bed, we say prayers, I tell him he has to stay in bed, he tells me I'm going potty, I agree, he says night night, I say good night, I walk out, shut door and cross fingers. I sit on couch, hear pitter patter of little feet, hear door open, hear door shut, more pitter patter, then "HI MOMMY!" and he walks over to his toys and begins to play. I get up, pick him up, he throws fit, I don't care, I put him in bed, and the above begins again. So by 10pm, I'm WIPED OUT. I'm talking to Marty about Christmas gifts for Alexis since she is our expensive child. Sammy comes in the room for what seems like the 1500th time and decides to be "cute" by wanting to cuddle with Mommy. He climbs up, gets hyper and bashes my mouth with his head. I KNOW it was not intentional but GOOD HEAVENS it hurt like nothing else. I seriously thought my teeth went through my lower lip. I pushed him off me, got up, yelled something about how I can't handle this child and I don't want anymore EVER and went off to the bathroom to spit. Let me tell you, I LOVE my child dearly and I was so mad at myself for getting so upset! I feel like I have less patience because I'm not with him during the day. His "routine" and behavior is really set by the sitter, who watches 10 other kids and as great as she is, she can't see everything they do wrong so they can't be as disciplined as I would have him if I were home. So of course feeling this way, only makes me feel worse, like I'm a terrible mom who doesn't deserve children. Then I think of the idiots out there who are reproducing and shouldn't, like my brother's ex who is having #2, can't afford #1, is a terrible mother, can't hold a job, is disgusting and rude, but will likely keep popping them out as long as God keeps her fertile. That's a whole nother blog though, one that I won't write because I'm not sure it would be Christ-like.
Ok, so the moral of this blog is: we all get over-stressed and contrary to popular belief, I am not perfect. :) Today I will make a New Year's Resolution (in August) to try not to overthink everything and be more patient with my child. I may hate working and being away from him, but it's not his fault and I need to accept that it is my calling for now.