Unforgiveness

I don't know about you guys, but Sunday's message on forgiveness really hit me. I've grown up a Christian, so I have heard pretty much every message preached in a variety of ways. Sometimes, my mind wanders away from the preacher and on to my list of tasks because 1) I'm pretty sure that I know what scriptures the preacher is going to use to support his message, 2) I can summarize his message before he finishes, or 3) I just don't want to here it again. I know, that's so rude!
But, Sunday for some reason struck a chord. It caused me to think about my actions and the actions of others that I have not forgiven. Actions I just didn't want to think about. I'm one who is always, "I'm fine, just fine." "Nothing bothers me. I'm too strong to let it get to me." "I'm over it." "We're all human, I don't expect perfection.""Whatever, I'm not going to let someone hurt me." But then I shut out my real feelings. I don't forgive the person. I ignore it completely. I lose trust and see no need in trusting. Then bitterness sets in. And depression. And anxiety. Most the time you don't even realize that those are the physical effects of unforgiveness.
You know what we do by harboring unforgiveness? We try to take the control from God and take it in our own hands. We are saying we don't trust God to handle it. I used to think if I forgave easily, that it was letting that person off the hook. They would be easily forgiven, happy to go on their way. I would be the one left with the hurt. But, if you chose to forgive, you are helping yourself more than you are helping them. You are trusting God to take the hurt away, making room for Him to move and BLESS you. And He will bless you greatly for "doing the right thing." Doesn't mean that person isn't wrong, it doesn't mean they won't pay for their sin. You are just releasing control of the situation so that God can move in that person's life. I used to think that forgiving was like saying, "It's ok." Or in other words, "no big deal. It's ok you stabbed me in the back and was a filthy liar." But forgiving THEM is not taking away their sin. God has to do that, they have to repent for themselves. And really, think about it. Yes, they greatly hurt you. Clearly, they need Jesus. Deep down, more than anything, rather than punishing them wouldn't you rather them receive Jesus and all He has to offer? All I have to say is, you reap what you sow. Sow mercy, reap mercy, sow judgement, reap judgement, sow bitterness, reap bitterness.
I have to forgive two people. One person I don't even know and I struggled with forgiving them. How, if I can't talk to them, see them, don't know anything about them? But, I can forgive them in my heart, pray for them (Luke 6:27,28) and let God do the rest.