Let me stop and clarify. I am in no way bashing Sarah or any of the Jakes. It takes great courage to not only have the baby and raise it, but to then write a book about it, even if years later. I did not purchase the book today, but it is on my list to read soon. (Who has time to read with all these kids running around?!) As my husband and I are venturing into ministry, I pray daily that God keeps my children pure, and gives me the ability to raise them to do right.
This is in no way an educated writing, no formal statistics or great, thought-provoking verses being spewed here. Just the thoughts inside my brain. In "my day", circa mid to late 90s, when a teen got pregnant it was a shock. Many kept it quiet, tried to hide it, and/or were sent off to other schools. Kids whispered about them, stared at them, and rarely did these girls have baby showers given for them. They were not congratulated or celebrated, unless it was done also in secret. That was the non-church scene that I witnessed through my public high school. The church scene, well, wasn't too different. The very few teen pregnancies that happened to church friends of mine were huge shocks. Rushed weddings, secret pregnancies and quiet adoptions, tears shed often and weekly trips to the altar calls to pray for repentance, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. One girl, pregnant at 16, was allowed to attend youth until she started showing. When she was no longer allowed to attend youth, many were offended. When she had the baby and wanted to come back to youth, again, not allowed because she was no longer just another 17 year old. She was a mom. While at the time I was confused at the lack of "support", I see it so differently now.
Let's fast forward to 2014. I hear that statistics say teen pregnancy rates have dropped, but, seems like every month I hear of another friend of a friend whose teenage sister, cousin, brother, friend, child, is having a baby. Today, when a teen gets pregnant, more often than not, they are congratulated, celebrated and elaborate parties are thrown. I have witnessed girls get giggly and excited when their 15 year old friend proudly shows up to youth group with a large, round belly, complete with form fitted shirt. I overheard conversation, again at a church, between girls talking about their baby daddies, one girl not sure of who fathered her baby, another hoping that hers will stay around now that she has decided she is definitely keeping "it".
As a Christian, I am proud to support girls that find themselves in an unplanned situation. The key word being UNPLANNED. But, when I hear that a girl intentionally got pregnant at 14, or that a handful are excited about each other's pregnancies and planning parties and play dates at 16 years old, my heart is sad. I want to support the ones that need the support, but do we support the ones that don't feel the slightest guilt or embarrassment? If we dig deeper, is it the ones who don't feel the guilt that need the most emotional support?
As Christians, where do we draw the line? At what point do we go from tolerable to acceptable? In my opinion, by overly supporting these young girls, praising them for making the "right" decision to keep the baby (that they never planned on giving up) and never explaining the disappointment in the "wrong" decision of giving up their purity, we are no longer being tolerant of teen pregnancy, we are accepting it. Showers thrown to prove we support the girls just masks our true convictions and beliefs. And, avoiding teaching abstinence in fear of hurting the ones who already gave themselves away just downplays the reality that "hooking up" is dangerous. Although, when you hear a teen is having a baby, are you disappointed in them because the pregnancy, or because they gave up their purity? I feel like so many adults now are just concerned with the pregnancy part, forgetting the bigger picture. It's not that the teen gave up the teaching of being "safe", they gave up something they can never get back.
Once a taboo situation becomes socially acceptable, it becomes a norm. With shows like 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, and even Preacher's Daughters, we are telling our teen girls that sex and hooking up among "church kids" is just as normal and acceptable as those who are not raised the same way. But, it's not. The church kids need to stand up and set the norm. Be the example. By time a "church kid" reaches their teen years, they need to be equipped to "be a light unto the world". If more church kids stood up against peer pressure and had a strong foundation of truth and morals, how much change could they bring to a generation that so desperately needs it?
