My new ride...

Many of you know I have had issues with my vehicle. I have a 1997 Plymouth Neon. It is a four door sedan that thinks it's a sports car. It even has a spoiler and 6 cylinders. It was a great car in its day. My mom got it the end of my junior year in high school and when I drove it, I thought I was IT. In summer of 2000, my mom wanted a new car and I needed a car, so she gave it to me. Yes, I was supposed to make payments. I made three of them, but decided to go away to college and although my mom didn't feel it was a good idea, she relented and let me take the car....I think she knew I wasn't going to be able to afford payments, and I probably wouldn't really need it. She was right. I did drive it, but most of the time I was with my roomie in her Land Rover. Why take the Neon when you can take a Land Rover, right? ANYWAY. None of that is my point, it's just a little background.
The Neon declined quickly and not so gracefully and was completely unreliable. We have been praying and praying for a blessing, because we don't really want to get into a car payment. Well, finally my prayers have been answered in a bittersweet way. My grandma, who I was very close to, passed away in January. My uncle has kept all her things and would not let anyone have anything. He wants to sell it all, and has the intentions to keep the money to pay his bills and debts, since he lived with her. Well, he decided to sell us her car. A 2000 Ford Contour. It is maroon, with tan interior, a plain sedan. Not as "sporty" as my Neon, but it has 46,000 miles on it and is in tip-top shape. Yeah, I should have "inherited" it, but for what he asked for, it is well worth it. Peace of mind and knowing me and my child are safe to drive around is great! Marty even went out on his day off and got it all decked out with a new CD player (it only had cassette), automatic start-woohooo-and he tinted the windows. I was nervous when he told me on the phone, because I have this thing with tinted windows on sedans. Not many can pull it off. You have to have a sporty look, and too dark can look ghetto. I guess it doesn't look bad, and I'm happy the sun will not bother Sammy. It's darker than I would have liked, but Marty is so geeked about it! Must be that Melvindale High School still in him. He thinks it looks sweet. I guess now I all need are some spinners.

Opportunities

I read a little devotional about opportunities today. The world is full of them, some of God, some of the world, some of yourself. The trick is acting on the right one.
In my life I have walked through many doors of opportunity only to find out that maybe I wasn't supposed to walk through that door. It felt like God and the door opened, so it had to be, right? The Lord provides so if the door is open, obviously I need to walk through it! Now, I don't think God is out to trick us, but I've realized that it is the free will that God gave man that makes us think an open door is quite obviously a God opportunity. We have free will, and He wants us to know how to use it wisely.
I read about a woman who had all the doors of opportunity opening for her in her job as an author. She was quite successful, and was always being offered better jobs, trips, stories. She was writing erotic romance novels and enjoyed the life the success brought her. At the height of her career she felt God tugging her, convicting her. Although each door had opened easily, she knew it wasn't right. She had been a Christian most of her life, and suddenly became embarrassed that her name was all over all these filthy novels. She turned her life around and is now enjoying life as a Christian fiction author. The money is not the same, but she is happier.
That is how bad Satan wants to trick us. Although Satan has no authority over us as Christians, he can use situations and people to make us think an open door is a good opportunity, knowing that when we walk through that door we will fail. We may enjoy a successful career, but as a Christian we may miss out on ministry opportunities because we are so busy in our career. Or, what seems like a good idea financially-advancement in the workplace, a new investment, etc- could be something that causes unecessary stress or hardship on our marriages.
The devotional closed with one of those typical cheesy but true quotes : The best way to know God's will is to say "I will" to God. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you won't fail with that one.

It's freezing down here...

I came down to my basement to check my yahoo email since I can no longer check it at work. Anyway, it's probably 20 degrees. I understand it is a basement but man oh man, my fingers are like ice! So, I'll keep it short.

Went to the Y both Monday and Tuesday after work. I'm feeling good. I sweated it up, stuck with the program, glutes are burning again (isn't about time they are used to this?). I haven't lost any weight, but I feel better and I can tell I've burned some fat. That's good. Except I think my butt is bigger. My neighbor said it will get bigger before it gets smaller.....GREAT. Does that really make sense? I'll tell you though, my pants fit better at the waist now, but tighter you know where, so it must be true. Ugh. Why. I'm hanging in there though!

Crystal called and got us all worked up. She told Marty she needed to talk to him and acted all stern. When he called to tell me, after the first initial overreacting, I immediately texted people I knew know our situation and ladies, the prayers did work! Now, this woman rarely calls, and when she does she always picks a fight. Well, between 4pm when she called him at work, at 6:30 when he called her back, God must have done something because she was calm, cool and collected. She just wanted to touch base about Alexis coming this summer. She is due to come in about two weeks! I'm so excited, but the sad part is as soon as the plan is set for her to get here, I start get nauseated about her leaving at the end of the trip. I tell you, being a step-mom is so much harder than it seems! All the responsibilities, none of the recognition, decision making power, no sanity, all chaos. Thank God I know my Maker and know He has a greater plan for me than I can ever imagine, and that gives me hope to hang on to!

a wise woman once said.....

Those with all the dreams lack the resources to fulfill them, those with the resources lack the dreams....

To those with resources who aren't fulfilling any dreams- I know two people that have BIG DREAMS and are looking for some resources! See me for details.

My glutes are burning!

Really, I hope all this hard work at the Y pays off soon. I'll be seeing some people I haven't seen for 10 to 15 years in a few weeks and I want to look GOOD. Isn't that strange, considering most of the time I could care less what anyone thinks....but flabby butt and 4 inch roots gives an impression I just don't want to give! I hope I didn't just offend anyone going through the same thing!
So I went on the treadmill yesterday for 30 minutes! I don't think I mentioned that I was on the elliptical for 40 minutes on Saturday! That was because I totally got lost in thought about how the heck am I going to be able to afford child care for two kids this summer. Anyway, so on the treadmill I gradually increased the incline until I got up to 10! I burnt over 200 calories and my boo-tay is burning. I know that's a good thing, so I'm hanging in there. My legs, too. I can feel they are slimmer already! After the treadmill I spent a lot of time of the hip adducter and hip abducter. One works the inner thigh, the other works your saddlebags.
I also feel the need to mention that I've had too much coffee this morning and no food so I'm feeling nauseas, anxious and my heart is pounding. I don't think that is a good thing. I need to eat lunch before I vomit.

I have discovered a revelation about myself. I can't find a happy medium when it comes to being me. I know that sounds strange so let me explain:

1. When I am happy and just being normal me people mistake me as ditzy, ignorant, immature and obnoxious. Since I am easy going and generally happy and I tend to make people feel comfortable- I tend to be made the butt of jokes because, hey, Sarah doesn't get offended easy, she can take it.

2. When I am quieter, reserved and try to "blend in" people say I'm not being me, I must be mad at something, I'm backslidden, somthings wrong or I'm depressed. I'm pushed to "say something funny" or just chat it up with the others. People will bug me until I "open up" when really I'm just trying to not be "funny Sarah" because people seem to think "funny Sarah" is unwise, a ditz, stupid, you name it.

I have found there are very few people that understand me. Weird that I'm 28 and I don't even understand me. Since I don't try to impress anyone or try to be something I'm not, I'm usually unaware of how I am in public. If 15 people are together and 1/2 are chatty and go on and on and ON, the minute I say something not realizing someone else is trying to, then I'm the one who is disruptive. I may not get offended easy, but I do still have feelings.

Ew, I hate being transparent. My next blog will be so much more vague.

Alexis has been calling/texting us late at night, we're talking 9:30 on school nights. Let me remind you, she is 9 years old. She is has been in CATS testing for the past two weeks. Well, Crystal found out and went OFF. She cussed out Marty this morning at about 7am. Alexis told us last night that her mom checks her phone to see how many minutes she has been using and Alexis was "bragging" about how she deletes texts and calls so her mom won't know who she has been talking to. Well, she must have forgot last night! Alexis had been texting Marty and he thought it was Crystal playing games, so he called her and Alexis answered. She was so happy to talk, and said her mom won't let her call us, text us, nothing. I can tell in her tone she is miserable, though she sounded happy to talk to us. She was talking about how she wants us to come visit and come to her awards ceremony at the end of May (last day of school, so we are going to try! Need $$ and a car!)
Anyway, so now Crystal is threatening Marty saying she is going to subpeona his phone records (yeah, go ahead and try) and she is going to "do what needs to be done" for Alexis's best interests. In her speak, that means try to take her away, which will never happen. 1) it is against a prophetic word that we were given, 2) not going to happen over a phone call at 9:30. She shouldn't have given a 9 year old a cell phone in the first place!
I actually hope she does blow her top and take him to court. 1)It'll show how ignorant she is, 2) Marty will just get a lawyer and fight for more time on the grounds that Alexis reaching out to him at night is clearly a sign she needs to be with him more, 3) the judge will see and hear yet again how manipulative she is and that she is using Alexis as a pawn.
Anyone know any good lawyers for cheap? Please pray for Alexis. I really don't want to see her dragged through a court case/custody battle. I pray she comes here, and it is an easy and smooth transition and no battle involved.