Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Seriously, this is long but REALLY good

Ok, I will post it later, but for now, here is a link you can click on. It is about 8 minutes, but WELL worth it. TRUST ME!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4

Monday, September 29, 2008

Gone Baby Gone

I know it has been awhile since I blogged. I've been busy with not much to say. Now I have news to report. Sammy is gone! I'm so sad....actually, I'm ok right now, but probably by tonight or tomorrow I'll be freaking out a little! The in-laws came and got him yesterday.....we hung out for a little so he could have fun playing with them and be comfortable, then they left around 4. I won't see him again until SUNDAY! Marty is going Friday while I'm gone to the retreat, then they'll get me from the retreat on Sunday since it's 1/2 hour from my in-laws.

The ever-so-popular question is, "What are you going to do with all your time?" Here is my list of things I'd like to get done:
Visit Missy and baby
Finish "winterizing" what's left of my front flowery area
Go shopping - I need some new clothes BAD
Get my eyebrows waxed
deep clean the house, including basement, walls, cupboards, kid's bedrooms. Throw out junk.
Workout 1 hour every day
go for a bike ride at least two of the days
clean and reorganize my bedroom- it's atrocious
vacuum entire house and mop- I really don't do this often, so that is why it's on the list
scrapbook Sammy's first year. I don't even have a photo album for him!
Paint the kitchen
get Alexis's room ready for her to come on Oct. 11th (her room is our storage room when she is not here!)
work 10 hours a day (Mon- Thurs) so I don't have to use vacation time on Friday.
Pulse on Wednesday
Tennis on Thursday

AND, what I will realistically get done:
Visit Missy and baby
eyebrows waxed
clothes shopping (PRIORITY!)
work 4 10's
Pulse on Wednesday
Tennis on Thursday

I know what you're thinking....Tennis?! Yes, my mom really wants to learn to play and has chosen me to go on this mission with her. We took a 4-week trial class, now we've signed up for 8 weeks, hour and a 1/2 class. That's a whole nother blog though!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Yahooey

10 days until retreat! Seriously, I bet some of you read this and are like, "SHEESH. Enough already about the retreat!" But, really, I'm stoked. I've been preparing and reading and praying and I know the Lord has something HUGE for the retreat. Yes, God can move anywhere. Most of you probably don't know but the first time I was baptized in the Holy Spirit was in my bedroom all alone at 16! BUT, there is something about round the clock being with the Lord.

Top 10 Reasons I'm ready to go to the retreat:

10. Mini vacation in a beautiful place.
9. Wonderful fall color= great photo opps.
8. Time to think, sit, pray and breathe without stopping to get apple juice or falling on a toy.
7. Being with some great friends.
6. Experiencing a new level in my walk.
5. Hearing from God about where He plans to take me next.
4. I'm going to receive a word from God about things on my prayer list.
3. My friends are going to experience God in a whole new way.
2. I will have more to write about on my blog when I get back.
1. I'm in need of 72 hours of me, God, Godly friends and the renewal that will come with.

Don't get me wrong, I will miss Sammy very VERY much, but this weekend will be great for both me and him because Momma's coming back with a new focus and renewed self!

Thursday, September 18, 2008


"They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Shout out to Christi Stewart for the beautiful picture! I can't wait for retreat. Have I said that at least a dozen times already? Maybe because I am expecting something amazing. Or I'm tired and I need a rest. Or I need to get away with the girls and have a good time. Or, all of the above.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Friends

I was thinking today about my friends....how they've changed at different times in my life and how God has opened and shut so many doors. Friends I thought for sure I'd have for life have drifted out or been forced out. Some of my closest friends are ones I never thought I'd be so close to or stay in touch with. So as I'm sitting at my computer pondering the reasons certain people have come into my life or remained for so long, I decided to look up quotes on friendship, because I love quotes and I love my friends :) Especially those ones that let me completely unload, maybe more than they really wish they knew and then they still love me and somehow, it deepens our friendship!

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival." - C. S. Lewis

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up." - Bible: Ecclesiastes

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." (yeah, I know...cheesy)

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell

"The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." -Elizabeth Foley

Can wait to go on retreat with my FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll miss my friends that are not coming:)

Monday, September 15, 2008

My Son, Sam the Ham

Children sure know how to make you want to kick yourself. I can admit, I have not had much patience with my child lately. I have had a lot on my mind and been under a lot of stress, and unfortunately that leaves me with little energy or patience for Sammy. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Sammy. I wouldn't trade him for anything! He is so sweet and smart and loving. He's also very energetic ALL the time and happens to be going through this clingy, whiny phase. All he wants is his Mommy. Hey, what can I say? The kid loves me! It also makes me feel incredibly guilty that when I lose my cool or get annoyed when he head butts me in the chin for 1,000th time or digs his feet into my ribcage when climbing up me to get to the dog on the back of the couch that he still loves me and wants me. If I yell at him, he is devasted and needs me to hold him. Not Marty, not Grandma, but Momma, the one that just yelled at him. He loves both of them very much, of course, but when he senses I'm irritated, he wants to be closer! It's like rubbing salt in the wound!

So my little Sammy with the big blue eyes that are hypnotizing would not sleep last night. He kept waking up and calling, "Momma, Momma, Momma!" So I eventually succumbed to crawling into his tiny firetruck bed and laying with him a while. He wraps his tiny arms around my neck and dozed right off, snoring away while I just watched him sleep. Not to get sappy, but there is something about watching your kids sleep. He looked so at peace! Peace ended when this morning after I was all ready for work I had to wake him up. The Grouch was alive! Anyway, so the cutest thing- Sammy found Motorcycle Ken and Barbie in Alexis's room yesterday and decided to sleep with them. Then just when we were heading out the door to daycare this morning, he stopped and ran to his room to get them. He came back proudly holding up the dolls and with the biggest, cheesiest smile (first smile of the morning is the best:) he held up Ken and said, "Daaaaddddyyyy!" and then held of Barbie and yelled, "MOOOOMMMMMMMMMMAAAA!!!!" Then giggled and hugged them both, squeezing hard enough to almost pop a neck off. Then he gave each of them a kiss and took them to daycare with him, smiling as he showed them off to Mary and the other kids that were there. It was so cute, I couldn't make him leave them at home!
Anyway, I just had to share all that. I've been thinking about it all day!

Let's spiritualize, as Ang and I love to do: I can imagine God in Heaven picking us up like that, so proud with a big grin, squeezing us in his arms and loving on us like we can do no wrong! Although, clearly we can :)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

My verse of the day

Every morning I go on Bible Gateway or read a devotional and I read multiple verses until one just strikes me as significant in the moment I am in. When I find it, I know it's "the one"; my verse for the day. I might write it on a post it and attempt to commit it to memory. By the way, memorizing scriptures is so key to growing in God. Being able to recall a verse in an instant to help someone or even help yourself really confirms your commitment. So my verses of the day are 1 Peter 1:6-9. I found it on Bible Gateway and I have to post The Message Bible version, because that Bible cracks me up with its translations. I highly encourage everyone to go on Biblegateway.com and search out some of your favorite verses and see the translation from the Message Bible.
1 Peter 1:6-9
6-7 -I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.
8-9- You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you'll get what you're looking forward to: total salvation.

And for those totally confused because you are so used to NKJV:
6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9 receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.
I'm not going to blog what this verse means to me or any of that. You take from it what it means to you. We all go through different things at different times and come out a different person. I try to learn something from everything that happens in my life. I want to grow and be molded into what God wants for me. Though no one's life has more promise than someone else's, I know that the greater the calling means often the greater the testing so that your Faith will withstand any trial, struggle or issue that may come your way. He cannot use you as a leader if you cannot lead by example, you can't be a great parent and raise great kids without knowing how to discipline with love- like he disciplines us.
I often use the quote "That which doesn't kill you will make you stronger"...but only if you let it. You can succomb and wallow in your emotions, or you can have Faith and trust in God to get you through the situation and become what HE wants you to be. A leader, a servant, a parent, a mentor, a loving spouse, a strong caregiver, a trusting friend, an example of Him to the unsaved.

Monday, September 8, 2008

My Savior My God

First, I am not copying Angela. I have been working on a few different blogs and decided on this topic this morning. But, first decided to read Angela's. Wow, we have way too much in common! But, I'm blogging about my topic anyway!

I'm obsessed with music. Worship music. I love lyrics. I won't listen to a song with poor lyrics, even if the melody or beat is great. You know how you have certain songs for certain things you're dealing with, or you hear a song and it really hits you where you're at and you have to listen to it over and over? That is me and my new song of the moment is "My Savior, My God" by Aaron Shust. It is so good! Maybe I think too deep, but I know a few who will appreciate my brain. The song starts out:
"I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior"
How many times do we try to figure out why God let something happen? Why do good things happen to bad people and bad things to good people? We can't figured it out. We are not skilled to understand! All we can do is trust in God, our Savior, who has redeemed us. Through him we can get through the trials because we have Faith, but we cannot even begin to understand the why's. This opening statement also reminds me of the verse, 1 Corinthians 2:9 "...No eye has seen, nor ear has heard, no mind can conceive what God has prepared for those who love Him..." I am HUGE on education. I don't think one should ever stop learning. I'm an advocate of lifelong education, taking classes, teaching others what you've learn. I am constantly googling for more understanding on various issues, words, people, etc (Sarah Palin being my current interest!). No matter how much you try to understand though, you will not being able to comprehend what God has in store for you. I keep repeating that line, "I am not skilled to understand..." just let it sink in! I guess I know who of my faithful few will really let that hit them...Go ahead, Angela. I'm waiting for your interpretation! Leave it as a comment, so others can read it too!
Because I must stop blogging and get to work, I will post the rest of the lyrics below for you to read, and let sink in.

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Chorus (2x's)
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior
That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Chorus (2x's)

Thursday, September 4, 2008

My Bible studying is all over the map (sort of like my brain). I start a book, then end up skipping around the Bible from Old to New to deepen my understanding. At 28 and having gone to church my entire life (hence the name of my blog: Born in a Pew!) and I'm still fascinated by some of my findings. I also am slightly ashamed or embarrassed that I don't know more about scripture. I can't recite amazing scriptures like many others.
Every morning I try to arrive to work early enough to get on Bible Gateway and browse around for something satisfying. Since a passion of mine is knowledge and education I thought that would be a good topic for today. I found this verse and felt it may have some relevance to some of my readers....I'm sorry, I mean both of my readers :)
Proverbs 2:3-5
Yes, if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding, If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the LORD, And find the knowledge of God.
Sometimes I am disappointed in fellow "lifers" (those who have gone to church basically their whole life) who don't have passion. Those who just come to church, sing, listen, go home. Some are Sunday morning only. Some may be involved in some way at church, it's basically a habit and expectation rather than desire. They don't even realize the impact the could have if they gave it their all. As Christians, we have the responsibility to serve others. As lifers, you dang well know better and should realize that you were preserved for HIS purpose. Sure, you may have had a rebelious streak or doubts at some point but God has brought you to this place at this time for HIS purpose. New Christians motivate me. They are passionate, they get involved in every area they can, they go to retreats with excitement and hunger, they participate in Bible studies. They just can't get enough! They make me feel convicted for not having the same passion at times.

I am absolutely geeked about the retreat. I've always been a camp/retreat/conventions type of person. I know they are unique, and help you to break out of the norm. I just wish some of my fellow Christian friends had the same desire to get deep with God and other women. It's time to grow up. I'm not just talking the retreat. Many may not really be able to go: work, infants, prior commitments all have a way of getting in the way. Finances, too- Lord knows I've experienced more than my fair share of that problem. Don't let finances stop you. ALWAYS express your desire to go to a leader and pray about it. God will make a way. M&M is starting up again. What a great way to share your life testimony and pour into to someone OR even better have someone who has gone before you pour into you? And for those who just want to dig deep, our Bible study is starting up again soon. We are living in the last of the last days. Don't let your purpose pass you by because you didn't want to step out of your comfort zone of home.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Positively Random

I'm even more pumped than ever about the retreat. I'm believing in answers to my questions about my gifts and calling...answers that may scare me, and at the same time be quite exciting! So in honor of the Eagle's Wings retreat that I am so excited for:

Isaiah 40:31 - Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Randomness #2- Buddy ol' pal Amy is back from her fabo vaca. Immediately upon her return, Momma Amy had to experience what I hear is a fantabulous time of year. Back to school! New clothes, school supplies, new high school drama. Love it. I can't wait to catch up and here all the funny stories I'm sure she has to share from her trip. She really should blog rather than just ghost read ours :) We need coffee night. By the way, I never did treat you to coffee for hooking me up with my job! Course, I may need some time before we get together. There are things I can't share and you know how it is when we get together. You always get it out without even meaning to!

Randomness #3- I decided to join the pot on Missy's baby due date. I'm shooting for September 25th. Hold out for me Missy and I'll split the pot with ya! lol....Seriously, Missy is so bummed she can't come to the retreat, like freaking out bummed. Don't worry dear, we'll miss you. Besides your baby is going to be like a week old and he needs full, undivided attention from mommy at that age. Next time, do a little better with the baby planning ;) j/k

Randomness #4- Going to Pulse 8 tonight. Not sure how I'm feeling about it, but James and Janet are great friends of ours and ask Marty and I to be leaders. Marty really wants to and I'm pretty sure I know why I'm hesitant, and frankly, it's a lame excuse so we'll give it a whirl.

Randomness #5- I wore my "little black number" (ANGELA) to work and I can totally feel my baby belly roll resting on my legs. Ok, maybe that was too much.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Unforgiveness

I don't know about you guys, but Sunday's message on forgiveness really hit me. I've grown up a Christian, so I have heard pretty much every message preached in a variety of ways. Sometimes, my mind wanders away from the preacher and on to my list of tasks because 1) I'm pretty sure that I know what scriptures the preacher is going to use to support his message, 2) I can summarize his message before he finishes, or 3) I just don't want to here it again. I know, that's so rude!
But, Sunday for some reason struck a chord. It caused me to think about my actions and the actions of others that I have not forgiven. Actions I just didn't want to think about. I'm one who is always, "I'm fine, just fine." "Nothing bothers me. I'm too strong to let it get to me." "I'm over it." "We're all human, I don't expect perfection.""Whatever, I'm not going to let someone hurt me." But then I shut out my real feelings. I don't forgive the person. I ignore it completely. I lose trust and see no need in trusting. Then bitterness sets in. And depression. And anxiety. Most the time you don't even realize that those are the physical effects of unforgiveness.
You know what we do by harboring unforgiveness? We try to take the control from God and take it in our own hands. We are saying we don't trust God to handle it. I used to think if I forgave easily, that it was letting that person off the hook. They would be easily forgiven, happy to go on their way. I would be the one left with the hurt. But, if you chose to forgive, you are helping yourself more than you are helping them. You are trusting God to take the hurt away, making room for Him to move and BLESS you. And He will bless you greatly for "doing the right thing." Doesn't mean that person isn't wrong, it doesn't mean they won't pay for their sin. You are just releasing control of the situation so that God can move in that person's life. I used to think that forgiving was like saying, "It's ok." Or in other words, "no big deal. It's ok you stabbed me in the back and was a filthy liar." But forgiving THEM is not taking away their sin. God has to do that, they have to repent for themselves. And really, think about it. Yes, they greatly hurt you. Clearly, they need Jesus. Deep down, more than anything, rather than punishing them wouldn't you rather them receive Jesus and all He has to offer? All I have to say is, you reap what you sow. Sow mercy, reap mercy, sow judgement, reap judgement, sow bitterness, reap bitterness.
I have to forgive two people. One person I don't even know and I struggled with forgiving them. How, if I can't talk to them, see them, don't know anything about them? But, I can forgive them in my heart, pray for them (Luke 6:27,28) and let God do the rest.