Monday, February 4, 2008

Oh, Monday.

For once I am somewhat glad it is Monday. I had a terrible past 8 days. I cannot divulge too much, but let's just say I had a "woe-is-me" time last weekend (not the one that just past)...Satan just loves to kick you when you are down. I was a little down about some friendship stuff and thought well, I do have these friends over here, blah blah blah...who come to find out on Sunday neglected to invite me along to hang out Saturday, once again, totally didn't even realize I wasn't there hanging out with them. I was really frustrated by my revelations about my friendships, but had to get over it and head out on a two-day business trip with my boss. That sounds much weirder than it is. I love my boss. We have a ton in common and she is a great friend. I can tell her anything without being judged. I wanted to visit my grandma on Saturday, but Sammy had an ear infection and my uncle smokes, so I didn't want to take him around it, not to mention he was being a Mr. Grumpy Pants.
So Tuesday evening I got back from my trip and about an hour later my mom called to tell me my grandma had a heartattack. My life with Grandma around literally flashed before my eyes because I have been feeling this coming for a few months now, but really thought she had a few years left. Two hours after that call, my mom called to tell me she didn't make it. I literally felt the world stop. It was all so fast, I didn't even get to say goodbye, and I immediately thought about how I should've visited over the weekend. She lives less than 10 minutes away, what has been my excuse? Working full-time really made it difficult and I reminded myself that I did visit much more often, at least once a week, when I worked less. My grandma was 77, most people in my family live to see 90 at least. She had declining health and macular degeneration, so I understand she is in a better place and doesn't have to deal with blindness, arthritis, pneumonia, or any other ailments she was fighting off all the time. Still, it has been very rough. Sometimes, grandma's pass, and you hug your friend and give your sympathy, and many are pretty strong about it because it is a thing of nature. But, this was different. I was so close to her, and of course I thought of all the should've, could've, would've's immediately. She LOVED my children so good...telling Alexis by phone sucked. She adored my grandma.
Fast forward past details...Wednesday everything was taken care of. We were given a 20 minute family viewing with grandma, and then they sent her body off to be cremated. That creeps me out a little. But, I know she is not there. It's just a shell.
Thursday---I was a mess. I stayed home, kept Sammy home and spent time with him, went to breakfast with my mom, shared memories of Grandma, visited my uncle who lived with her and had found her. Thursday night though, God sent me His condolences in the form of my friend from college, Chrissy. I miss my Evangel friends so much and had been thinking about them a lot over the last week since my friend revelations. Chrissy's plane got delayed til Friday morning, so I met her at her hotel and we talked til about 2 am, then I had to go home so I wouldn't get snowed in. It was such a good time and I really needed it. My friends here have been wonderful and supportive as well. Thanks, everyone for your lovin' :)
Anyway, back to work today. I took Friday as well, since I got three days of bereavement pay anyway. That was a good rest for me, although I was sick over the weekend and I am exhausted. Tomorrow is the big B-day. No, not 30. Just 28. Marty's 32 was Saturday. We might go on a hot date tomorrow. Well, make it mild. Here's to a better week than last.

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